


not at all.

by RomanOnMars



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Bara!Sans, F/F, F/M, Jealousy, Lesbian, Mentions of Past Rape/Non-Con If You Squint, NSFW, No More Resets, OC, OC is fat, Oc is black, Overprotective!Snas, Post-Pacifist Run, Racism, Romance, Slight Undertail, Smut, Will update tags, Xenophobia, city, established relationships - Freeform, monster racism, undertale - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-07-23 17:58:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7474200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RomanOnMars/pseuds/RomanOnMars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When she said she wanted excitement, she didn't mean a muscular fish woman that suplexes boulders and loves anime, alongside a socially-awkward lizard lady that defined modern robotics for an entire generation to move right next door, in apartment 3B.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. punk!

The hole was huge. It was about the size of her head, it broke through the wall, and there was a blue, glowing spear in her living room. 

Needless to say, Courier was fucked.

The hole in the wall, from what she could see, led to a living room mimicking her own. It was going to cost a fortune to fix, she was going to be chewed out by the landlord of the apartment complex, and Cori had already spent a good portion of her paycheck this month on rent, utilities and the grocery bill. Being an adult was hard. This meant she was going to have to dip into her savings, and those were pretty low as well.   
From the other side of the hole, she heard a booming voice that would no doubt keep her up at night from here on out.  
“WELL! I tried, at least!”  
And another voice, a timid one, that would no doubt be drowned out by the thin walls with how low it was.  
“U-Undyne, you could’ve j-just used the f-flys-swatter!”  
“It was a big. Fucking. Spider. There’s no way!”  
“A-at least go apologize…”  
And then the loud voice huffed, and stomped over to the hole. Then, there was a giant fish lady’s head poking out into Cori’s living room, grinning up at her. A monster. Huh.  
“Heya, punk! Sorry for breaking your wall and shit… although technically it is our wall too-!”  
“U-Undyne.”  
“Okay, okay! Geez. Sorry lady. What’s your name?”  
“Courier.”  
“So, you gotta job, Courier?”  
Was this lady seriously trying to strike up conversation with her head poking through a wall?  
“Yeah, a waitress.”  
“Well, I’m Undyne! The sexy lady you hear on the other side is my gal, Alphys!” Hm. So a gay fish lady with magical spears was poking her head through a wall and asking Courier about her life story. What even was her life at this moment.  
“Uh, nice to meet you.”  
“You aren’t a monster-phobe, right?” Undyne’s good eye narrowed at Courier’s chubby form.  
“No, what makes you say that?”  
“You’re visibly uncomfortable.”  
“Because there’s a fish woman with her head in my living room.”  
“Touche.”  
“Speaking of said hole, um… What’s going to– um–”  
“You’re just like Alph! Leave it to us, pal. We got it.”  
The woman stepped outside of the hole, and turned to the other, that was out of Courier’s sight, if she was trying to act like she’s not spying on them.  
“Alph! We gotta call the hole place on Tuesday!!”  
“I’m guessing this happens often?”  
She stuck her head back in the hole.  
“Look who’s trying to strike up conversation now?”  
Courier blushed a bit, not as noticeable on her dark skin, but Undyne noticed this.  
“Chillout, punk, you seem cool. Speaking of which, you wanna come over for a welcoming party?”  
“Erm…”  
“I won’t bite.” She smiled, showing off her very pointy teeth that seem like they do, in fact, bite.  
“Sure…?”  
“Cool. Just don’t be a bitch about it.”  
“Got it.”


	2. skele-ton of fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, if you're sensitive to mentions of racism and white privilege, avoid the chapter and comment box on how mad you are at me.
> 
> Also, jokes.

The next day, the welcoming party was on. Courier came over after preparing herself, no one else was there yet. Undyne greeted her, and she smiled. The two chatted with Alphys. Recently, Over the span of the three days they’d known each other, Undyne had been using the hole to be a menace.  
This morning, she was trying to make a cup of hot coffee, on the counter right beside the wall. Undyne must have heard or seen her, because she pops in through the hole, and yells, “GOTCHA!”  
Courier fell backwards, landing on her butt and wrists. Ouch.  
“God dammit Undyne!” She yelled, but it was drowned by the fish’s laughter. Alphys, like usual, made her apologize.  
\---  
“So then I said, ‘You deserve it, dude!’ and kicked his shin, knocking him down!” Undyne cackled.  
“It must be horrible to deal with all the racists.” Courier said, looking saddened by the change in mood, “If it’s any consolation, I know how you feel.” That caught their attention.  
“W-what do y-you mean?” Alphys stuttered out, looking concerned.  
“Well, I mean, I’m black. We’re typically shot at, sent to jail for no reason, or not given equal opportunities to white people.”  
“Wait, you mean humans seriously kill your race because you’re a different skin color?!” Undyne said, dumbfounded.  
“Yeah, pretty much.” Courier sighed.  
“But that’s j-just a melanin d-difference in y-y-your skin c-cells based off of g-genetics…” Alphys said, tone barely above a whisper. She sighed and excused herself to the kitchen to get refreshments.  
“Yeah, it’s not fair. Humans typically aren’t.”  
Suddenly, a knock at the door interrupted the heavy conversation, and the booming voice on the other side quickly changed the mood positively.  
“UNDYNE, ARE YOU THERE? SORRY WE’RE LATE, SANS WOULDN’T GET UP FROM HIS NAP!”  
Undyne smirked and made one, giant leap towards the door and opened it. There was a… skeleton? He was about 7 feet, rough estimate, and had to duck to get into the doorway. He was wearing a crop top that read ‘WANTED AND WILD’, shorts, a backwards cap and sneakers.  
“No worries Papyrus, you weren’t late.” Undyne smirked up at the tall skeleton. The two engaged in conversation until another skeleton, look about 6”5 and big-boned, walked through as well. He wore a blue hoodie, black basketball shorts and pink slippers that didn’t look that worn down.  
“‘sup undyne.” He said, his voice a deep baritone.  
The white pinpricks in his eyes drifted over to Courier and she felt a small shiver travel down her spine.  
“who are you?” He said.  
Undyne answered for her, of course, by throwing a scaly arm over her shoulders.  
“This is our neighbor, Cori. We busted a hole through her wall!”  
“UNDYNE THAT IS MOST INAPPROPRIATE. YOU SHOULD AT LEAST ASK BEFORE BREAKING PEOPLE'S’ WALLS.”  
“Wanna see it?” She replied, looking smug.  
“YEAH…” He said, looking a bit bashful. The two walked over and examined the wall together. The other skeleton- (Sans?) Looked over at Courier again.  
“...”  
Oh man… the suspense was killing her.  
“...”  
What’s he gonna say? Does he not like her?  
“...”  
Can monsters be prejudiced at humans? That seems unlike them.  
“‘sup.”  
“Er… hi.”  
“‘m sans. you seem pretty anxious, we get under your skin already?”  
“Oh no! That’s–…” Wait, was that a bone pun? This cheeky bastard. “No, er, you didn’t.”  
“you sure?”  
“I promise I’m not sick of you guys, or else I’d start coffin.” Two can play at that game. His pinpricks grew brighter and smile widened, and she felt like she was gonna have a bad time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ye. also, if u havent picked it up yet, we use bara sans in this fanfic.


	3. fish-sticks and dino-nuggets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh yeezus the king and queen?

“I REGRET EVERYTHING.” Courier expressed, trying to cover her ears along with the other skeleton, Papyrus.  
“but wait I’m not done. you okay pal? ya look a little ill. could you possibly be coming down with a…”  
“SERIOUSLY!” Papyrus said.  
“femur.” Sans said, then proceeded to chuckle at his own joke.

The party was going good. Courier met a bunch of new people, and nearly shit her pants when the king and queen of monsters showed up with their child, Frisk, who was holding a potted plant that spoke(?). He called her a bitch and was sprayed with vinegar. Frisk and Courier definitely got along. Not only was it that they had near the same skin tone, but Courier learned ASL in college and the two spoke about tons of things.  
She was placed in a bone-crushing (Hah! Two can play at this game, Sans!) hug by Toriel, and received a welcoming pat on the back by Asgore. Once she got over the fact that they were royalty, she settled down and realized they were pretty much like everyone else. Half way during the party, a spider woman named Muffet came and gave a stern talking to to Undyne for nearly injuring- that’s right, she missed- a member of her family.  
Undyne apologized, but clearly had a smug look on her face after Muffet left. Alphys and Cori discussed anime, and realized they actually had a lot in common. But mainly, her closest friend (besides Papyrus being a sweetheart and declaring them BFFLs) was Undyne. Their personalities fit together pretty snuggly.

Finally, the small get together was coming to a close. The flower, whose name was creatively Flowey, eventually did cease with the insults towards Courier. No matter how much vinegar it took. (Half the bottle). As people were saying their goodbyes, the unnerving skeleton that hadn’t said a word to her all throughout the party took her off into a corner. Sans towered over her, she was only 5”4.   
“Uh…” She said, clearly confused, looking at the white pinpricks in his eye sockets with her brown orbs.  
“buddy. pal. amigo.”   
“Yes…?” She said, still clearly unnerved by their private chat.   
“thanks for being nice to my brother. he really likes you.”  
“Oh, Papyrus? He’s a sweetheart, it’s no problem.”  
“everybody else really likes you too.”  
“Including you?” She said, offering a small smile.  
“‘m gettin’ there.”  
Her face didn’t betray her, luckily, because Courier’s ego was very bruised. She mimicked his fake smile.  
“we’re gonna be spendin’ a lot of time together. and if you’re as friendly as you’re saying, papyrus will definitely want to see you again. so, uh… here.” He said, and took her phone, putting his number in.  
“Thank you Sans. I hope to see you guys agai-”  
“C’MON NERDS!” Undyne said turning around the corner of their living room to see the two.  
“Woah, what’d I miss?” She said, wiggling her “eyebrows”.  
“Nothing!” Courier quickly responded.  
As everyone started leaving, all of their numbers in Courier’s phone, Alphys placed a claw on Courier’s shoulder.  
She turned around.  
“H-hey. We were wondering i-if you wanted to st-stay over for a sleepo-over. I-It’s totally cool if you don’t want to w-we just-!”  
“I’d love to Alphys. Just let me go and pick up some things.”  
“C-cool. Undyne she said yes!”  
Undyne smirked and fist bumped excitedly.   
“Hell yeah!”  
Courier smiled and walked over to her room.

…

The sleepover was pretty fun, so far. The three watched anime, ate snacks, and chilled out, talking over things and wanting to know more about each other. Courier was really interested in what the Underground was like, whilst Undyne was curious about human history and racism. Alphys explained things better than she could however. After their last chat about the topic, she had done research and gathered facts quickly.  
Everything was going swimmingly, until Courier’s phone buzzed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's all folks!


	4. flirty halloween decoration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you flirty skele you

Seriously, this was getting ridiculous. Courier had been on her phone nearly the whole time, whilst trying to engage in conversation with Undyne and Alphys. That made Undyne- NNNNGGGGAAAYYYAAAAA- furious. This sleepover was supposed to be about those three, not her and whoever she was texting! She constantly blushed and smiled lovingly down at her phone, so it was probably her boyfriend or something. ‘Dyne finally decided to speak up.  
“NNGGGHHH, Punk! Who ya textin’?”  
“O-oh!” She said, still laughing at whatever and trying to recover enough to respond to Undyne. “Your pal, Sans!”  
What.  
…  
Huh?  
…  
What.  
…  
WHAT.  
“WHAT.”  
“Yeah, he’s real funny.” With her webbed fingers, Undyne quickly snatched the phone out of Courier’s hands.  
“Hey-!” Alphys was too engrossed in the anime with demons and butlers to care that her girlfriend was acting in thievery. Easily keeping Courier away with her feet, Undyne read the texts starting at 7:58 pm.  
S: hey  
C: hi  
S: you still a human  
C: what kinda question is that  
C: you still a skeleton?  
S: weird, i know  
C: v weird. Why ask??  
S: m not askin if youre still biologically a human, pal  
C: then whattaya askin buddy  
S: you still monster friendly  
C: no, ive decided youre all abominations of god and will never speak to you again  
S: what  
S: woah  
C: sans  
S: wow um ok  
C: sans  
S: thats kinda  
C: sans it was a joke  
S: rude pal  
S: oh.  
C: of course im still monster friendly  
C: its very sweet you care about papyrus so much  
S: how do you know this is about him  
C: 1. Obvi 2. You are a v kind brother  
S: youre pulling my femure bone here pal  
C: TIBIA honest, m not  
C: i can SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU  
S: you cant outpun the pun master  
S: dont even try  
C: oh im sorry  
C: AM I GETTING UNDER YOUR SKIN  
S: seriously stop trying  
C: why snas  
S: snas?   
C: i guess you DONT HAVE THE HEART FOR THESE PUNS  
S: ive truly found a girl havent i  
Ah, so that must’ve made her blush. Who knew that smiling sack of bones was such a flirt?  
C: haha u NUMBSKULL stop foolin  
S: i aint pulling on your HEARTSTRINGS  
C: AND HE FIGHTS BACK  
“Seriously ‘Dyne please!”  
“This is so cute oh my goodness. ALPHY!”  
Alphys looked away from the TV finally.  
“Yes?”  
“I’VE FOUND A NEW SHIP!”


End file.
